Supporting families in the hospital

I've found that having a child with higher medical needs opens up a community that I hadn't been a part of before. It's not that I didn't know that families deal with medical challenges, but it's not something I had experienced before. When Tulla was born, I tried to act like everything was fine. I didn't really talk about my experience or her medical concerns. Partially because I didn't know it wasn't a one-time thing, and partially because I didn't want to acknowledge anything was wrong.

When she went back to the hospital for a second stay, I didn't even tell a lot of my close friends. It was too overwhelming. I didn't want to believe things would be so complicated. I have a wonderful community of friends and family who are supportive and kind. I can't even count the number of people who pray for us regularly, and I'm so grateful for them all. But I couldn't open up. I could barely process it for myself, let alone talk about it.

I started talking about it slowly, then more. In doing so, I've found a community of people who have their own challenges in the most surprising places. I recently dropped my boys off at day camp, and in sharing about Tulla's struggles, another mom opened up to me about her child's journey with a brain tumor. I feel so privileged that she felt she could trust me with her heart.

Another friend that I opened up to reached out to ask for ideas on how to support another mama who would be spending a lot of time in the hospital with her new baby. I feel so humbled that my experience can help others. That gave me the idea for this post!

Ways to support parents with children in the hospital:

Note: There are affiliate links in the next section. These are non-obligational, but a great way to support Tulla's medical expenses if you're planning on purchasing these things anyways.

• Time feels like it moves differently in hospitals, so ways to pass the time are always welcome. Lean into any hobbies they might have, such as knitting, crochet, crafts, Lego building, or reading. Subscriptions for things like streaming services, games, audiobooks, or music are great because they can be hands-on or hands-free.

  
  

• If you know the parents are traveling to and from the hospital regularly, sending them gas cards can be a great way to ease some of the non-medical financial burden. In the same vein, food can get expensive, and parents' meals aren't usually included. Food delivery gift cards can be a huge blessing.

  
  

• Hospitals can feel cold and clinical, so my biggest "must have" for my own comfort is a fluffy blanket and a real pillow. It's amazing how those things impact your rest when you're stuck in a hospital room overnight.

  
  

• A care package with some different snacks, coffee, a reusable water bottle (This one has a retractable straw! Game changer), and toiletries like chapstick and lotion can feel like a luxury and brighten their day.

• Pray for them. If you can do nothing else, the most powerful way to support a family in this kind of situation is through prayer.

  
  

Things to pack as the parent:

In my hospital bag, I keep bottles of iced coffee, because there's always ice available, and hospital coffee is rough. I also have a few pairs of comfortable lounge pants. I love that these ones are stretchy and thin. Perfect for the cooler air conditioner, but not uncomfortable in the warmer parts of the hospital either.

Helpful tips for infants in the hospital:

• Sleepers with reverse zippers or snaps are best because the cords can be fed through the snaps/leg zipper. It makes for easy access to the cords and monitors while still keeping the baby comfortable.

  
  

• Aquaphor can help take off sticker residue.

  
  

• If you don't have something, ask the nurses. They can probably get it for you. Ask for samples of everything they use for your child's care. In my case, they made me up a whole care package. Sometimes it can take a while to get supplies sent to your home, and it's always nice to have backups.

  Family life services can help provide resources to make your child's stay more comfortable. You can also ask for things like a breast pump, boppy pillow, soaps and pretty much anything else you can think of.

• Most hospitals also have a Ronald McDonald House. Even if you aren't staying there, you can get day pass access. They usually have a fridge full of to-go meals as well as family-style dinners. They do laundry, and have toiletries too. I am extremely grateful for their friendly staff and amenities.

• Keep your own records of any medications your child needs, what is being done with your child, and when. Especially if you live in an area where different hospitals use different systems, requesting/sending records takes time. Having your own records on hand can speed up the process and help your medical team make informed decisions about your child's care.

Staying in the hospital with a sick or injured child can feel overwhelming and uncomfortable. These are some of the tricks I've learned this past year with all of our hospital experiences. Each trip, I pack a little better and gain a little confidence in how to advocate for Tulla.

Do you have any tips or experiences of your own? Feel free to add them in the comments! I'm always interested in learning more.

Thanks for reading!